Plane Thoughts

While I sit on this plane, I feel like it would be a good time to explain this. But getting straight to the point: I’m falling for her.

Although I haven’t seen her in a week, the longer we’re apart, the more I think about her.. the more I cringe for that tight hug she gives me when she says bye. I reminisce to the time we met, the day I first saw her. The shyness over powered the moment. The awkward silence was real. Yet, beneath that silence was a spontaneous deliberation. It felt like all of the questions running through my head were the same questions running through hers.

Who are you?

What are you like?

Do you like me?

Is this real?

We were two very complete strangers. It almost seemed like we took 2 people that were from opposite sides of the world and jointed them together on a date. But.. I liked it. It felt great to meet someone new. Every girl that I grew feelings for was a close friend of mine.. maybe that explains why things didn’t work out in the past. But what was different about this (and what I liked the most) was the question: Were we ever considered just friends at one point?

It’s something really crazy to think about because when all else fails, I’ll always and only have these feelings for her as my companion, my partner in crime, my Woman Crush Wednesday, my Daisy Buchanan. It feels like at this point, I can not look at her any less than that, only greater.

This is why I have so much faith in us. I truly believe that we can go a long way. Unexpected joys and blessing are brought into my life each day by you and I feel like this is only the beginning. Only God knows where the ending will be, but I am praying that it isn’t anytime soon.

The Look

The way her eyes fill up as her smile widens.. the way she looks down from her shyness as she pushes her hair back behind her ear.

This is my only attempt to explain this look, because it’s nearly impossible to express any other way. No one will understand this look other than me.. And when you read this, you will probably think I’m typing a bunch of non sense from a fictional love story that would seem senseless to even comply to in this world, but this look is real.. it’s realer than reality. It’s a sight that gives me hope every morning when I wake up. It’s the look that puts me to sleep faster so the next day with her will come quicker.

But wait.. Before I say anymore, you must be wondering what the look looks like. Honestly, if I could tell you, I would. This look complies to beauty as it reiterates the peaks of life. It leaves me in awe everytime as it reminds me of how blessed I am. Its a look that makes me question, but it gives me answers.

The conclusion that I came to is that it’s not much of a sight anymore.. It’s a feeling.

This is what made me fall for her.

"It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced—or seemed to face—the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

verb: smile;

1. form one’s features into a pleased, kind, or amused expression, typically with the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed.

This was the first thing I noticed about her. I don’t recall the last time I have seen a person smile so much. But getting beneath the cracks, I wanted to know what was behind that smile. A smile can be a reassurance of happiness, or can be a disguise from pain and agony. It can speak a thousand words, or can just stay silent. It can be the cringe of anticipation, or the expression of nervousness. It can even be the emotional fulfillment of love and lust, or the mental disappoint of trust in men. With all of these variations of what a smile can mean, it boils down to the moment where I smile back at her. At this point, there is synchronized harmony between the countless emotions, the countless thoughts, and the countless smiles that are in exchange.